Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
*** Article: "The Unconscious Hello," or a Secret Technique for Gaining Instant Rapport! - By Connie Brannan ***
--------*** Article: "The Unconscious Hello," or a Secret Technique for Gaining Instant Rapport! - By Connie Brannan ***
--------
Today's topic is unconscious communication. We all know about language. Words. TALKING. It's part of how we "get our message across" when we're communicating with someone. But it's a very, very small part. There is so much more going on, information being sent, received, exchanged between minds on an unconscious level. Today I'll present you with a quick method for enhancing unconscious communication, called "The Unconscious Hello." It's a powerful tool to build instant rapport and connection and good feelings with another person, both in you and in them. So easily! And that could be useful for making friends and influencing people, could it not?
First, you may ask: What IS the conscious mind? The unconscious mind? Picture a large, very dark room, like a warehouse. You have a flashlight in your hand which you turn on, and it creates a narrow beam and a small circle of light on the far wall. Everything else remains pitch dark. That bit of light is your conscious mind. It's what you are aware of, what you can see now at this moment, and focus on. Everything else in the room is dark and unknown, that's how much information your unconscious mind is processing at that moment.
Your conscious mind is the critical part of your mind, your thinking mind. It's your aware and awake mind, analytical, logical, and sequential. It has a very limited focus. It's deliberate. It directs outcomes. It can only handle 7 +/-2 bits of information at a time before it gets overwhelmed and goes "heeeelllp me!"
Your unconscious mind (or subconscious, as it's also called) is unlimited, expansive. It's active while sleeping and dreaming. It involves feeling, and intuition, and imagination. It's responsible for involuntary movements and keeping your body alive, like your heart beating, your breathing, blood circulation, your immune system, healing, your growth, and so much more! It takes in billions of pieces of information at any given moment. Science estimates that it houses about 90% of your brain power.
Your unconscious mind, during a communication, picks up so much more information than you can consciously perceive. And that's a large part of how we understand each other. Some of those unconscious communications include "body language," hand gestures, body gestures such as shrugging, foot tapping, facial expressions such as a smile or frown, tone of voice, movement of the eyes, level of eye dilation and changes, tilt of the head, lift of an eyebrow, speed of speech, breathing patterns, volume of speech... As you can see, there's a lot more than just words going on in the communication. Take a simple utterance such as "I believe you." Depending on all the unconscious variables, it could mean anything from "I believe you" to "liar."
In the "unconscious hello," here's what happens. When you first meet or notice another human being for the first time, whether it's face to face or across a crowded room, you unconsciously and automatically communicate and acknowledge that noticing. Something happens, something is communicated. It may be a smile or a nod. It may be a word or two. It may be a wave, or up close, a handshake. Your unconscious picks up every nuance, every drop of meaning of which your conscious mind may be blithely unaware. You just know, "Hey, I LIKE this person." "She looks nice." "I wonder what his problem is." And so on. You have garnered meaning from the communication which filters into your consciousness.
By consciously acting on this "unconscious hello" communication, you can direct the outcome, the meaning of your communication, the feeling the other person gets from you in a positive way for yourself. Good feelings, friendly feelings, warmth and rapport. It's a two way street, you feel it, too. And it's so simple to do. Here's how!
In that moment of first noticing another person, you observe how they notice YOU first, and then you feed it back to them. If they nod and smile, you nod and smile in precisely the same way. If they say "hello," you say "hello" in precisely the same tone of voice and volume. If they tilt their head while speaking, you tilt your head to the same angle. You match whatever it is that they present to you. THEN, on an unconscious level, they feel a positive connection with you. "This person really understands me." "This person seems like MY kind of people." "I like this person." "You are like me." The implications for the dating world, or the sales world, or any interpersonal setting are powerful! You're WAYYY more likely to close the deal or make the sale or get the girl's phone number if she feels this rapport with you. Or, as a friend of mine likes to apply this, a free cup of coffee from the Starbuck's barista! Magically, you also feel the connection, as well.
Here's another tip. If you can observe the person saying hello to someone else first, take those noticings of voice and face and body and etc. and feed them upon greeting to the person even before they acknowledge you. Try it! Discover for yourself the power of the "unconscious hello!" to generate positive feelings of connection. And that's what life is all about, is it not?
*** Brief News of the World ***
*** Brief News of the World ***--------
Positive:
* Conn. Mayor Donates Kidney to Facebook Friend *
Politicians long ago discovered the uses of Facebook. East Haven Mayor April Capone Almon found something else there: a constituent who needed her kidney.
Capone Almon, 35, had more than 1,600 "friends" on Facebook last year when she saw one of them, Carlos Sanchez, post a status update saying his friends and relatives had all been tested and couldn't donate a kidney.
Go here for complete news story.
* NY Girl Helps Choking Friend, Credits 'SpongeBob' *
When her best friend turned purple, Miriam Starobin's thoughts turned to yellow -- cartoon hero SpongeBob SquarePants.
The denizen of fictional undersea Bikini Bottom was being credited Friday with inspiring a lifesaving rescue during music class at a seaside school earlier this week.Go here for complete news story.
* PIMCO's Gross to Auction Rare Stamps for Charity *
PIMCO's Bill Gross, manager of the world's largest mutual fund, plans to auction rare European stamps from his collection to raise more than $1 million to benefit Doctors Without Borders.
The auction will feature about 200 stamps of Western Europe, including early stamps from France, some German colonies and German government offices in China. One rare vermilion French stamp may be worth $75,000 or more, Gross told Reuters.
Go here for complete news story.
Aboriginal Law Firms Winnipeg
Winnipeg Lawyers
LawyerShop.ca lists Law Firms in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada that focus on one particular practice area, such as Immigration or Criminal Defense Law:
We believe this helps consumers find the right law firm with the expertise and knowledge needed to properly represent your legal needs in Winnipeg.
Below is Aboriginal Law Firms for Winnipeg:
Aikins, MacAulay & Thorvaldson LLP
30th Floor Commodity Exchange Tower,
360 Main Street,
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3C 4G1 Canada.
Phone: 204-957-0050
Booth Dennehy Barristers & Solicitors
387 Broadway
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3C 0V5 Canada.
Phone: 204-957-1717
D'Arcy & Deacon Barristers and Solicitors
1200 - 330 St. Mary Avenue
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3C 4E1 Canada.
Phone: 204-942-2271
Fillmore Riley LLP
1700 Commodity Exchange Tower,
360 Main Street
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3C 3Z3 Canada.
Phone: 204-956-2970
Tapper Cuddy LLP
1000 - 330 St. Mary Avenue
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3C 3Z5 Canada.
Phone: 204-944-8777
Taylor McCaffrey Barristers & Solicitors
9th Floor, 400 St. Mary Avenue
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3C 4K5 Canada.
Phone: 204-949-1312
Tyler Kochanski
30th Floor Commodity Exchange Tower
360 Main Street
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3C 4G1 Canada.
Phone: (204) 957-0050
Friday, May 7, 2010
Self Acceptance
Do you like yourself? It saddens me that some people are probably going to answer no to that question. Even if you answered yes, are there times when you think less of yourself than others?
Maybe sometimes you tell yourself you're not good enough, haven't achieved enough, that no-one loves you... and it's all your fault. Well, if you work through the exercise in this video enough times, your answer will be a 100% sincere, "Yes, I love myself, utterly and completely."
Whatever you don't like about yourself, you probably have lots of reasons to justify it. Say you feel you are inadequate, maybe you are at work one day and your boss says he wants you to take on a new project... but you know you don't have the skills or experience to achieve it... you draw the conclusion that you are inadequate. Then the next day you meet someone you like in a bar... but that person is SO awesome, you figure they'd never be interested in you... so again, you draw the conclusion that you are inadequate.
It would make sense... everywhere in life you see evidence to support the idea that you are inadequate... so that is the way you feel about yourself.
Well here's what I hope you'll realise after working through this video. The FEELING comes first... and then it alters the way you look at the world. If you want to know more about this idea, look for my article "The Key to Self-Acceptance", that will explain the theory a bit more.
Right now, I'll try and demonstrate this idea, by showing you where that feeling comes from.
The Science of Tapping
The biggest thing that puts people off Tapping is that they see it as a little bit New Age. It's funny to me, as someone who studied science at Cambridge University, I find it perfectly scientific. The formula is precise, and the results are repeatable and reliable.
These people tend to have limiting beliefs like
"I need to see a scientific paper on it before I'll try it",
or "It can't be that easy to sort out my problems"
or "It looks strange, people will think I'm odd".
The truth is simple, there is a basic physical process in your body, that allows you to let go of negative emotions. Tapping is a reliable way to trigger this process. There are many ways to trigger this same process - Psychotherapy, NLP, Hypnotherapy, Meditation, Kinesiology, Reiki, Christian Healing.
Each technique triggers the process in a different way and thus takes more or less time to release the same emotions, depending on how efficient that particular technique is. Tapping is the fastest I have found, by FAR. So the question becomes, how long do you want it to take. Personally, I'm all for getting rid of bad feelings with as little fuss as possible, and getting on with my life.
Some of the principles behind Tapping are also found in Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine. They call the nerve channels Meridians, and the energy that flows through them, Chi. It doesn't matter what you call it, it's just a way of describing a particular aspect of the human body.
Did you know that acupuncturists train for a minimum of three years? It's very rigorous training and it's a high standard of qualification. Chinese Medicine dates back far longer than Western Medicine, and it tends to look at the body as a whole person, instead of as a machine with different component parts.
The Meridians are a real phenomenon of the body. Some people can sense Acupuncture points and find them just by touch, but they also have a measurably different magnetic resonance to other parts of the skin. They also have a higher conductivity.
This pen is a pretty cool gadget. It's an electro-acupuncture pen, I don't use it for treatment as I tend to find that Tapping is more powerful than Acupuncture. But it's useful for demonstrating that there is actually special about the Tapping points.
The Beeping is to help you find the right point to treat. See how it changes as I run it over my finger. It's beeping higher because there is a lower resistance at the Tapping point on my finger. You can use it to find all the Tapping points this way...
If you Tap, it will work for you. Negative emotions will drop away and you will find yourself happier and more able to do whatever it is you want in life.
If you don't Tap, it won't work. So in that sense, I guess you do have to believe it in for it to work.
If you want to understand more about how Tapping works, the best thing to do is to read what Gary Craig, the original inventor of Emotional Freedom Technique has to say about it. You can get his e-book free from his website, www.emofree.com.
In the meantime, consider that you probably don't know how the Internal Combustion Engine works, but you still turn the key of your car to start it. NO-ONE knows how electricity really works, but you still switch the light on and off.
Seriously, NO-ONE really understands electricity. If you ask someone who *thinks* they understand, ask them the right questions and they will quickly run out of answers. But we still know how to build generators, and batteries, and computers.
In the same way no-one really understands the subtle energies of the body. But we still know how to work them to improve our lives.
That's all for now, Keep Tapping.
Sebastian, Boston
The Key to Self-Acceptance
Life is a lot easier when you aren't beating yourself up all the time. If you like yourself, trust yourself, and have confidence in yourself, and then others will like you, trust you, and have confidence in you too.
Most people's feelings towards themselves vary throughout the day. We all make mistakes, and we all let ourselves down from time to time. But some people are harsher on themselves than others. Some people hate themselves even when there doesn't seem to be a good reason on a particular day. Did you ever wonder why?
We often look at the people around us in our lives and compare ourselves to them. Some of them earn more money, or have a more attractive partner or are more proud of their children. You might think that we develop negative feeling towards ourselves as a result of these judgments. This is true, to a certain extent.
Consider for a moment though, that sometimes the feeling comes first. What if we already had the feeling, and it guided our thoughts? Maybe the feeling comes almost out of nowhere, and we backwards rationalize that feeling by literally making up reasons to fit it.
If that were the case, no matter how much we try to think differently, the feeling will still be there, forcing our thoughts into a particular corner. That would make it very slow or almost impossible to change. If you have persistent negative feelings about yourself, this might be your experience.
The key is to understand where the feeling really comes from.
The truth is we simply learned how to feel that way about ourselves one day, from one time, one event - and it got stuck in our system. We had an intense emotional experience, where other people, or the situation, or just our own thoughts at the time, led us to feel a certain way. So we associated that feeling with a part of us, and began to identify with it.
If you think about the strongest negative feeling that you have day-to-day about yourself, you might remember a time when you didn't feel that way. You might be able to pin down the day when you first starting feeling that feeling towards yourself. Next time when you feel that feeling, and you rationalize it with reasons out of the present moment, it should be easier to see that actually, you just learned to feel that way as a result of one event that could be decades in the past.
Knowing about the memory is one thing, but often that isn't enough to allow you to grow beyond it. Tapping is one way to successfully let go of past memories and integrate the experiences into your rational mind.
The Tapping Road Map
The Road Map shows you where you are, and what you might tap next. All the goals on the road map are achievable with Tapping as a tool.
The milestones are usually tackled starting from the bottom up, but they are really in no particular order. There is also a great deal of overlap - they are all interconnected.
Tired and Hungry
Ever feel tired or hungry even though you just ate and had plenty of sleep? Let me tell you about a little trick your body sometimes plays on you - let me introduce you to FakeTired and FakeHungry.
Recently I attended a weekend of lectures in London, something I'd been looking forward to for a while. I remembered finding it hard to concentrate in lectures at Cambridge, usually due to being tired or hungover or confused by the subject, so I made sure to get an early night the night before, and read up on the subject as much as I could.
I had a great night's sleep and a light breakfast, and bounced across London feeling great, early for the first session. It was odd then, that about ten minutes into the lecture, I started to fall asleep. My head started to feel cloudy and confused, and I experienced an overwhelming feeling of tiredness behind my eyes.
Instantly I started doubting that I'd slept well that night. I started taking sips of water to wake me up, and popped to the toilet for fresh air and to slap myself in the face. Having left the seminar room and run down the stairs, I felt wide awake. But two minutes after sitting down again I instantly felt tired.
This was odd... and it made me start to think. Having done a lot of Tapping, I tend to try and apply it to everything. So I started Tapping the tiredness! It would have been odd to tap away in the seminar room, so I did it in my head - this tends to work just as well, as long as you clearly imagine saying the words, and precisely visualise Tapping the right points.
I stopped feeling tired, and woke up to the point where I could easily pay attention to the lecture. I tapped some more in the break and a bit more that evening before I went out for a friend's birthday. Despite drinking alcohol and getting to bed later than I had intended, the next day during the lectures I was wide awake and thinking clearly.
That was the first time I really noticed FakeTired - Tiredness You Can Tap (TM). Before I explain what's going on, I'll tell you about FakeHungry.
This time it was me giving the lecture, during one of my weekend seminars. We do a lot of Tapping during these weekends, and don't shy away from intense stuff. This often brings up some bad feelings for people, so I frequently ask "how does everyone feel now? does anyone feel less than great?". Sometimes there are cloudy or foggy feelings, but this time a guy said he felt a bit hungry. It was an hour or so before lunch, and maybe he hadn't eaten that much for breakfast.
A few other people said they felt hungry too... and I laughed along with everyone else when I suggested Tapping it. But the humour turned to curiosity and intrigue when they stopped feeling hungry. The guy who had said he felt hungry remarked that he still didn't feel hungry when we left for lunch, and after lunch he told me he didn't eat nearly as much as he usually did because he didn't have so much of an appetite.
What's going on?
Tiredness and Hunger (and probably Needing to Pee and all sorts of other body signals) are interpreted by the body as a negative feeling. They are very useful negative feelings as if we don't listen to them we pass out or starve (or burst!).
Sometimes though, we associate, say, tiredness, with say, sitting in a lecture theatre. This particularly happens when we spend three years at University sitting in lecture theatres tired, hungover, bored, and confused. So as soon as I entered the seminar room EIGHT years later, my well-meaning sub-conscious mind said "aha, a lecture theatre, I know what to do here... time to get some kip!", and set about replaying all the genuine tired feelings it had learned to associate with lecture theatres all those years ago.
Similarly, who knows what our minds associate with being hungry, it could be as simple as "I don't have an empty plate in front of me". We can certainly associate it with sitting in a seminar room. Our minds are wonderfully powerful learning machines, and all it takes is one time when you were really hungry and sat in a chair, to associate sitting down with hunger.
When that association is triggered we feel FakeHungry or FakeTired, and the system is designed so that you can't tell the difference between that and the real thing.
Even more confusingly, one way to banish FakeHungry is to eat, and one way to banish FakeTired is to sleep. When we eat, our system gets flooded with the feelings generated by digesting food, and these stronger masks the FakeHungry. It could even be that FakeHungry is always there, but we only feel it when the first stages of digestion are passed. Note that this happens way before we start feeling RealHungry.
Sleeping switches off emotions that have been switched on due to associations. This is how powernaps work. It's less about a physical process of rest, and more about switching off the emotional processes that are going on. It doesn't take long to switch them off when we relax and close our eyes, but it also doesn't take long to switch them on when we go back to what we were doing.
Because it is generated by the survival mechanism, FakeTired is fear-based. The creates a beautiful irony - have you ever felt so tired you couldn't sleep? That's because the strong fear-based FakeTired feelings are also keeping you awake to deal with possible threats.
Another way to tell the difference between FakeTired and RealTired, or FakeHungry and RealHungry, is to see if you can feel them at will. See if you can focus and make yourself feel more tired or more hungry right now, just by thinking of times when you felt very very tired or hungry.
As I find myself saying so often these days - you might want to tap that.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
DANGEROUS MINDS
FIRST NATIONS PARTY OF CANADA
Editorial by:
Dwight Lavallee:
“Dangerous Minds”
is basically the writing of History in face of actuality of on going abuses brushed under the tables of our Parliamentarians’.
These are my words to that effect.
I do hope you see it, if possible.
“Dangerous Minds”.
Some of the social or cultural issues faced by students in the movie “Dangerous Minds” that contribute to inequality in education are cultural capital, family background and influence on education attainment, dominant society effects on school curriculum, and youth culture.
Cultural Capital played a huge role in many scenes of the movie.
Terry Wotherspoon defines it as the resources that people posses for economic and social success include not only wealth and economic assets, but also knowledge and understandings about social expectations, dominant values, and other pertinent information that institutions use in ongoing operations (52).
In other words, it is the knowledge and skills that have been acquired in one’s lifetime that give them the advantage to achieve a higher status.
This includes verbal skills, such as the difference between saying “going to the can” and “going to the lavatory”, the attitudes one holds on being able to achieve a goal, codes of ethics, or the knowledge of how a system works.
Aptitude and money play less of a role then cultural values and attitudes (Jencks et all, 170).
A child raised in a home with parents that are active in their education, are able to take them out to different social settings and hold a high value on achievement will be more likely to succeed in the future due to the knowledge possessed on how to handle themselves in their own social class.
They would also possibly be more educated in how to behave in social classes higher than their own.
Culture capital is not only passed on by a child’s family upbringing, but also from other institutions such as school, their place of work, and their religion.
The movie has a scene where the student goes to the principle for help, not realizing because he was never taught, to knock on the door before entering.
Because he lacked social etiquette he was sent away, and ultimately due to this ended up on the street, where he was shot and killed.
Family background is a cultural issue as it has to do with the values a family holds dear concerning education and what they were taught when they were growing up.
The education attained by previous generations affects the current students in the family.
The students in the movie were acquiring most of their education from home because they were not taught to their needs at school.
Due to most of the environments they were living in, they learned that criminal activity can possibly be a legitimate way to support their family, and that physical and territorial dominance is very important.
Because this was what they were taught, this is all they know, and they will follow these teachings and also pass them on to their children unless it is intercepted.
What we get then is generations of low income families, and also high income families, because every family passes on their knowledge to the next.
In the Wotherspoon textbook, they explain using the example of how in post world war two periods the content of the education was manipulated to teach good citizenship, loyalty to the country and knowledge that would support capitalism and other North American interests (68).
The mother that took her boys out of the teacher’s class is a perfect example, she was not taught the value of education, never experienced what it meant, and therefore believed that her boys don’t need to waste their time with it.
Dominant society determines school policies, including the curriculum, in many aspects of education, definitely a social issue in our education system.
The dominant society does not only have the power to determine who is allowed to teach, but what is taught, how it is taught, and who it is being taught to.
“Some major companies are able to allocate some significant resources to promote products to teachers, administrators, and other decision making bodies” (Wotherspoon, 127).
Not only are the businesses structured such as publishers effecting what materials are going into the schools, but also lobbying groups that feel they know what students should or should not be taught (Wotherspoon, 127).
When the teacher went to the office, she was told that she is not able to teach anything but what the curriculum states.
The book, although not suited for her class at all, was what was supposed to be taught and as a teacher she must follow these guidelines.
Youth spend much of their time at school, and this is where many groups are formed among youth.
When the students feel that it is more important to receive approval from their peers rather than their teachers, teachers in turn have no authority over them.
Their identity is the one thing that youth are able to control themselves.
They commit themselves to such cultures because of insecurities that they may have established while growing up (Wotherspoon, 137).
Youth Culture, a cultural issue, was demonstrated by the cool kid not believing the teacher and not participating in class.
Because of how youth culture works, the other students need his approval to really participate in her class, and when she finally got him ‘hook’, the others felt that it was okay to now participate fully.
Each of these four factors is educational problems that all teachers are faced with and are demonstrated true to life in the movie.
Youth cultures in the schools, their family background and their educational attainment, the influence of dominant society, and cultural capital are all prominent in our education systems and should be acknowledged in order to provide the best learning experience.
There are multiple ways that education contributes to or restricts opportunities for social and economic success among diverse racial and ethnic groups in Canada, two of which are the multiculturalism policy in our schools, and the lack of proper education to those who in a lower social economic class.
A major ethnic group of Canada are the Aboriginals.
They are faced with many racial, poverty, and inequalities in our society.
Out of all ethnic groups in Canada, they are by far left behind in terms of educational and social standing.
With the introduction of programs for ethnic groups facing such challenges, they are able to achieve more than previous generations, but the limit of such programs to a small amount of people limits the majority that are in need of these programs.
Without access to these programs to the majority of the aboriginal population there is little chance that the group as a whole will increase their social standing or economic success.
Racism is a largely contributing factor to the problems that the aboriginal community faces due in part to the lack of aboriginal political representation, (FIRST NATIONS PARTY OF CANADA) the loss of aboriginal cultural identity, and the suppression of aboriginal beliefs within the educational system.
Without proper political representation, Indian affairs are often mishandled and the community is misrepresented.
(THIS IS ABOUT TO CHANGE).
Without including the needs of the aboriginals into the education system, they will not have the means to achieve what they are capable of.
An example is their heritage and beliefs.
Schools largely do not focus enough on this, hence degrading their history and personal self worth, causing them to not only think less of themselves, but feel that they should not try to get out of this circle of circumstance.
They give up, and when they do so their chance at a higher social and economic stand point diminishes as well along with their self worth and heritage.
Multiculturalism is a major policy that has been included in Canada’s school system.
It has been implemented to help ‘foster tolerance and understanding for the broad mosaic of cultural groups within Canadian society’ (Wotherspoon, 247).
This policy has both helped contribute and restrict social success in our society.
Although it is meant to help various cultures understand that we as humans are all equal and should be treated as such, if a school does not make sure that this is coming across fully a multicultural school can be devastating for the minority within it.
Racism plays a huge role in this.
If a multicultural school does not implement the knowledge that all are equal, and students are being racist, those that are on the receiving end of the racism, may it be verbal, physical, or anything else, they will feel less worthy, hatred, and even drop out.
This in turn causes this minority to have achieved a lower level of education, and therefore be less able to receive a well paying job to rise in both the social and economic aspects.
If they do however, receive an unbiased, fulfilling education, where students are taught the morals of being equal, they will not only gain the confidence and education needed to rise in their social and economic standing, but will be able to deal with situations where they are faced with racism and grow from it.
Your comments are important:
Thank you.
Dwight Lavallee
Legislation Would Have New Language Laws
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